Rubik’s Cube
Four-hundred years after the birth of his half-brother, ‘weatherman’ Maritn King, Eron Rubik, inventor of the Rubik’s cube, was raised from the depths of hell to wreak havok on the world in the name of Satan. For twenty years he stayed locked in his chamber, depriving himself of everything but muddy water and dried fruit until he could devise soem sort of unsuspecting item that woul bring Lucifer forth from his burning underground layer and crown him ruler of the world.
In 1974 Erno invented the Rubik’s cube.
When completed, this detrimental cube of destruction explodesto reveal a small Latin incantation inside which, when said out loud, spells the end of man on earth.
Its probably lucky noone can complete the fucking thing.
Rubik’s have their own website dedicated to all things cubical, they even hold events. Apparantly the new Rubik’s Toronto Maple Leaf has 43 quintillion possible moves (who counted that?!) and only one solution. that solution is to put the little block-o-torture down and go watch some TV.
Like the Mayor of Sunnydale, evil rulers of the world try desperately to bring an end to life as we know it and to ensure their position at the right hand of the Devil.
Lego
When I was six my mom gave me a bucket of lego, I didn’t come out of my bedroom for four days…I found that same bucket on top of my wardrobe last week. Any day now people.
The myth that lego was created in 1947 by carpenter Ole Kirk Christiansen is merely a rumour which was spread by the King of Denmark in order to increase tourism in the area after the depression. Lego, like bovril, has been around since the dawn of time, peaking in the late 1900′s. It mamaged itself a wee comeback as a fashion accessory in 2007 when Camden scenesters were clocked hanging pieces of the round their in a skag-trendy manner.
Lego; usually in our attics, sometimes ’round our necks, always in our hearts.
Watches (with channel changers)
Not many people remember these, but watches with unversal channel changers installed were THE GREATEST THINGS IN THE WORLD. Fair enough they were so big and unstylish that it looked like an actual remote control strapped to your teeny wrist but it sure was fun to wreck the head of spotty teenage Xtra-vision employees and geagraphy teachers the country over.
Technology at its best.
Furbies
Direct descendants of the Mogwai clan (the creatures responsible for the Gremlin Massacre of ’84), the arrival of the Furby hailed the first ever successful autonomous domestically-aimed robot race and cerated violent hooligans of mothers everywhere as they threw themselves into the rng of death that was Smyth’s Toystore in the winter of 1998.
Born in Fimbleland, the little furry Chihuahua-like monsters began speaking in the Fubish but in time developed better English.
Over the years, Furbies have made a direct impact here in Ireland; approximately 86% of writers in the Irish Independant are of Fubish descent, and many more are credited as script in the hit series You’re a Star. One of the robotic creatures even managed to bag himself his own music show on Channel Six. But be warned, with Deveraux comes much responsibilty; never get him wet, keep him away from bright lights, and nomatter how much he cries, no matter how much he pleads, never ever feed him after midnight.
Others have gone the opposite direction in order to take their place in the New world order.
Trolls
Trolls!! Remember trolls?! How these little buggers ended up as a craze is beyond me. They started out as an ancient Nordic myth, depicted contrarily as both fiendish giants and devios human-like folk of the forest. Then came Tolkien and Dungeons and Dragons and before we knew it, childer everywhere had two or three in their freezers over night (they were the ones that changed colour when they were cold, as one does). The fad emerged in 1959 but had a welcomed revival in the ’70s. By the ’90s we had earrings, dolls, pencil tops, kitchen knives, big ones, tiny ones, ones of diamonds and ones of gold.
In 2006 police arrested a man who as demanding $1 off joggers and cyclists to cross a bridge. The man claimed he was the ‘bridge troll’. Witnesses say he had big pink hair and a silver diamond for a belly button.
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/9511801/detail.html
Story checks out.
pugnacious
peaceful
